Class of 3000 Wiki
Class of 3000 Wiki

Act 1[]

[Scene: music room. The students, barring Kim, are harmoniously playing their instruments.]
Sunny: Ah, yeah, yeah! Y'all really making that thing shine now. All right, Kim, time for your solo.
[Kim attempts to play her xylophone while reading a fashion magazine. The resulting sound displeases Sunny.]
Sunny: Hold up. Hol—hold up. Kim!
Kim: [Flinching] Ow! Hey, what's the big idea?
Sunny: You tell me. We trying to get this thing going over here, and you reading Trendy Teen magazine.
Kim: Sorry, Sunny, I'm just trying to stay on top of what's out and what's in.
Sunny: Nobody's "out" and nobody's "in." These lists? They're just made up by people who don't have nothing better to do with their time than to make up lists.
Kim: So when it says that purple vests, goatees, and giving up a music career to teach middle school kids is in, [Hearing this, Sunny smiles.] that's not really true?
Sunny: Hold on now. I ain't say all that. Now those three things are definitely in.
[Suddenly Kim appears with a goatee and Sunny's outfit.]
Kim: I know, right?
Sunny: [Ripping off Kim's goatee] But that's beside the point. See the truth is, as long as you find something you like and put your all into it, you're always going to be in.
Kim: [Back in her regular outfit] I'd really like to put my all into reading my magazine.
Sunny: Sorry, that's out. [Sunny launches the magazine onto a high shelf.]

[Scene: cafeteria. Sunny is seated with Ms. Lopez, Mr. Barnum, and Principal Luna.]
Sunny: You wanna share my grapes?
Ms. Lopez: [Giggling] I'd love to.
Mr. Barnum: [Via megaphone] Pass the salt!
[Sunny complies and holds up his liquefied grapes.]
Sunny: [chortles] Wanna share my grape juice?
[Kim approaches the flirting instructors.]
Kim: Hey, Sunny, hey, Ms. Lopez.
Sunny: Hey, Kim.
Ms. Lopez: Hi, Kim.
Kim: Mind if I join you for a second? So, I was thinking about what you said earlier about putting your all into something.
Sunny: Uh huh?
Kim: And I'd really like to put my all into a fashion show.
Principal Luna: Did you say fashion show? Ah, yes, the clothes, the runway, the cat fights backstage over who is more fabulous.
[As Principal Luna mimics a cat's meow, he earns gapes from Ms. Lopez, Kim, and Sunny.]
Kim: But not just any fashion show. A benefit fashion show to save the rain forest. I mean really people, can you live in a world without guava berry body wash from Brazil? I know I can't.
Principal Luna: Your idea, Kim—she's...fantastic!
Kim: I know, right? But if anybody's going to take me seriously as a designer and a do-gooder, I'm going to need somebody really fabulous as my model.
Principal Luna: [Fixing his hands on Kim's face and rubbing her cheeks, chuckling] Why, Kim, I am flattered!
Kim: [Removing the principal's hands] I meant Sunny.
Principal Luna: [Dejected] Yes. Of course you did. [Angrily drinks juice, releases defeated sigh]
Sunny: Sounds like a great idea, little bit. Count me in, and I think I know just the place where we can gather some exotic sounds to play while I'm strutting my stuff.

[Scene: a rainforest.]
Kam: [He pulls out a ginormous can of bug spray] It's a good thing I always carry a supersized can of insect repellent. [The wind blows] The bugs around here are enormous!
[A dragonfly appears while carrying Madison with its front legs]
Madison: Waheee!! Haha! I'm flying! [The dragonfly drops Madison] Wahee!! Haha! I'm standin'!
Sunny: [To the kids] Y'all keep using those recorders to capture as many sounds as you can.
[Eddie holds the recorder for Philly Phil to make armpit noises in, as both snicker. Then, Sunny pops into the scene.]
Sunny: [Staring down at Eddie and Philly Phil] I'm off to track down the talented, but very elusive singing tree frog.
Tamika: [Shaking her head] Ain't no such thing as no singing tree frog!
Sunny: Yuh-huh! And I will catch him singing. No matter what it takes, [He becomes invisible] I will catch him!
Tamika: [Muttering] Sometimes I worry about that man.
[As rain starts to fall, Sunny becomes visible]
Sunny: I know you out here somewhere.
Tree Frog: La la la la la la la la la!
[Sunny resumes invisibility. Pan to the tree frog on a lily in a pond.]
Tree Frog: La la la la la la la la la! La la la la la la—
[The tree frog stops as Sunny, once again visible, approaches the frog from in the pond. The instructor holds out a microphone, but the frog shakes its head and pounces on the instructor's head, escaping as a crocodile avenges Sunny. Laughing nervously, Sunny jumps and flees. Cut to a monkey in a tree; a nearby Philly Phil records the monkey's cries. Cut to Tamika and Madison on the ground with Kam nearby.]
Tamika: I don't care if it is a rainforest. All this precipitation is getting on my nerves! Okay, who ready to get out of here?
Kam: I am.
Madison: Me too!
Eddie: [Being constricted by a boa constrictor] I've been ready!
[As Kam, Madison, and Tamika prepare to leave, Li'l D rescues Eddie and calls after the other three.]
Li'l D: Hold up! What about Sunny?
Tamika: He know how to get home! He don't live but thirty feet from here.
[Camera zooms out, revealing the rainforest to be in a dome within close proximity of Sunny's house. The tree frog continues its evasion of Sunny.]
Tree Frog: La la la la la la la la la!
[The frog traverses through a log. Sunny attempts to follow the critter, only to get trapped and roll downhill. Time lapse. The frog showers under a stream of water.]
Tree Frog: La la la la la la la la— [He stops singing once Sunny holds a microphone to the frog's mouth]
Sunny: Oh, now, come on, frog. It's for charity.
Tree Frog: Charity? Why didn't you just say so? [Singing] La la la la la la la la la!

[Scene: music room. Sunny puts on a plaid sweater.]
Sunny: [With a stuffy nose] Pretty cool, Kim. [Sniffles] This fashion show of yours is going to be a big hit.
Kim: You ok, Sunny? You don't sound so good.
Sunny: [Stifling a sneeze] I'm fine.
Eddie: Are you sure? Maybe you caught some kind of flu bug out in that rainforest.
Madison: Oh! I caught one of those, too! [She holds up an insect trap to reveal a praying mantis resembling Sunny, complete with a matching hat and sweater. The praying mantis sneezes.] I call him Achoo-ey!
Sunny: [Nasal] I'm fine, y'all. Nothing to worry about. Just a little— [The instructor sneezes, blowing away everyone in his vicinity.] cold.
Praying Mantis: Gesundheit.
[Fade to black.]

Act 2[]

[Scene: school hall. Kam, Kim, Madison, and Philly Phil gather.]
Kim: What am I gonna do? I can't have a fashion show without a model!
Philly Phil: [Eating a meatball sub sandwich, speaking with full mouth] I could be your model!
Kim: Thanks, Philly Phil, but I need someone who can model clothes, not marinara.
Philly Phil: [Laughing] Good one, Kim.
Kam: I could fill in for Sunny. Mom always says girls won't go out with me because they're too intimidated by my good looks.
Kim: [Unconvinced] Kam, please. [Pulling out a mirror] Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Kam: [Recoiling, nervous] No, I'm too intimidated by my good looks! Get it away from me. Get it away!
[Kim tosses the mirror over her shoulder, hitting another student]
Student: Ow, my eye!
Kim: Look, no one's gonna take this benefit seriously if it's just some kid up there on the runway. I need a grownup.
Philly Phil: Westley's full of grownups. Why don't you get one of them to do it?
Kim: I suppose I could hold auditions. There's gotta be someone around who can take Sunny's place.
Madison: Of course there is! But I wouldn't really worry too much. I'm sure Sunny's feeling better already.

[Scene: Sunny's living room. The teacher shivers, thermometer in mouth, ice pack on head, and bundled in pajamas and a robe. Sunny sneezes in his pet parrot's direction, stripping away the bird's feathers.]
Sunny: My bad. [Li'l D enters through the front doors.] Man, shorty, didn't your momma teach you how to ring a doorbell?
Li'l D: I didn't want no doorbell to wake you up. Wake up! I'm going to cure your cold.
'Sunny: [Sneezes] It's all right, li'l buddy. I just need to get a little bit more sleep. [Sunny tries to sleep, but Li'l D will not leave the instructor alone.]
Li'l D: C'mon, now, Sunny. You can't just take this thing lying down. Kim's counting on you.
[Scene: Sunny's kitchen.]
Li'l D: Momma always says you gotta feed a cold and starve a fever. Normally, I'd set you up with a little noodle soup, but judging from your symptoms, you got a really hungry cold. [Li'l D finishes making a giant sub sandwich for Sunny.] Open wide!
Sunny: Hold up, now! I don't think I need to be eating all that—
[Li'l D force-feeds his instructor.]
Li'l D: How you feel now?
Sunny: A little better. [Sunny sneezes, and the ingredients fly out of his mouth.]
Li'l D: Maybe momma's saying is you gotta starve a cold.

[Scene: Westley auditorium. Various flora decorations fill the stage. Ms. Squattinchowder auditions in front of Kim and Madison, walking to the front of the stage and unenthusiastically moving her arms.]
Madison: [Bubbly] Wow! Have you ever done any modeling before?
Ms. Squattinchowder: No, but I've been told my looks are very—exotic. [Smiles, revealing her rotten teeth.]
Kim: [Uneasy] Uh huh...Would you mind losing the apron? It kinda hides the dress I made.
Ms. Squattinchowder: My apron is my signature accessory, honey. Without it, I'm nothing.
Madison: It does go really well with the hairnet.
Kim: Thanks for coming in. If you'll just give your headshot and resumé to my brother on your way out, that would be great.
[Ms. Squattinchowder complies. Without hesitation, Kam shreds the paper.]
Kam: Next!
[Mr. Barnum auditions, strutting for the judges.]
Kim: [As Madison smiles widely] Not bad, not bad. But do you mind taking off your hat?
Mr. Barnum: [Via bullhorn] Of course not! Hu ho. [Doing so, he reveals his messy hair that has taken the shape of his hat.]
Kam: Next!
[Mr. Barnum, crying, scurries to the circus arts tent and passes a cage with two lions.]
Mr. Barnum: I am not an animal!
Lion 1: Was he just insulting us?
Lion 2: You know what? Next time he sticks his head in my mouth, he's in for quite a surprise.
[The lions bump paws.]

[Scene: Sunny's house.]